Lungs Are Disgusting, Especially Pig Lungs
by Roxasolina Lombardi
Summary: *cover art is actually pig lungs* I needed a one shot and lungs from Health class came across my mind, so with my experience and my weird writing skills, I came up with this fanfic. This has a lesson of tobacco that you won't forget. Rated T because of a line with two curses, said by me.


_**Hey, guys! I got the best idea of a one-shot for Smash Brothers! And it's in a question! Read and review! Oh, and don't forget to answer the question I say in the story.**_

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 _"Have you ever seen a real pair of lungs... work?" I asked, looking at the crowd of Samshers that I somehow got to group around the mess hall, some standing, some sitting. It was the day after the lesson at school, and, jeez, was that lesson... gah._

 _"No, Roxas," Falco said. "Either I seen it dead or on Google."_

 _"Same," a couple people chimed in._

 _"Samus?" I asked, looking at the bounty hunter. She shrugged._

 _"I kill aliens, what do you think?"_

 _Everyone stared at her, including me._

 _"You seen it?" Ness asked, curious._

 _"...NO."_

 _"Awww."_

 _"Anyway," Marth said, looking at me now. "What did it look like? How did you see it? Why did you look at it?"_

 _I sighed. "Here's the story."_

 _~Flashback~_

It was Health time, maybe around 12:15 when she showed it to us, and we were just finishing, or rather stopping, the notes we took on tobacco and how harmful that thing can be. My "designated buddy that I "hate" so much I want to punch" was sitting next to me, bugging me as usual.

"Hey, do we have to do everything?"

I look at him and said as calmly as I can, " _What_ thing?"

He looked at me with a "don't do it" look. "Math. Do we have to do everything?

"... _Duh_."

As Ms. Harold, the health teacher that day, took out a pumper, everyone was getting interested, looking at her while she set the pumper up.

"First off," she said, "this is just _**pig**_ lungs, _not_ human lungs."

 _~Flashback ended abruptly~_

 _Everyone gawked at me._

 _"Technically, the federal government doesn't allow use of human bones or organs."_

 _"Pig?" Bowser said, disgust laced in his voice. "That's disgusting as hell."_

 _"And the government didn't think that," I said, looking at the koopa. "Don't you eat pork? 'Cause that's pig."_

 _"Why the hell are you looking at..._ _ **lungs**_ _?" Falco said._

 _"We are learning what tobacco does to the lungs."_

 _"Tobacco," Peach said. "As in... smoking and cigarettes?"_

 _I flash her a smile and said, "BINGO! That's what we're learning. Now, let me continue."_

 _~Flashback resumes~_

She took down a box on top of the filing cabinet, assuming that's where the lungs are at, and opened it. A girl, Jane, was sitting next to the box.

"Ms. Harold, can we touch the lungs?"

 _~Flashback stops again~_

 _"_ _ **Who da faq touches dat!?**_ _" Dedede exclaimed, making me jump. "Ya must like germs!"_

 _I didn't even know what to say. "Triple D, Ms. Harold had to touch it, grasp it even, to demostrate."_

 _"How else, poyo," Kirby said, glaring at the king, "did she see it?"_

 _I could almost hear him said the 'b' word to Dedede, which made me giggle mentally._

 _"Alright, let me finish."_

 _~Flashback resumes~_

"No, Jane," Ms. Harold said, carrying out a plastic container wrapped in bubble wrap. Joe, a kid sitting near the filing cabinet, maybe two seats away, came near the demonstrating table.

"Joe, get back."

Joe groaned and sat down in his seat, which to me, is close to the table where the lungs were at. As the teacher sets it up, the "designated buddy" -name's Chang- kicked my shin.

"Bitch," I hissed. "The fuck do you want?"

Chang looks at the lungs that are now set up. "Are we seriously looking at that?"

I nodded, looking at him. "I really don't get why this is part of the lesson."

"Tobacco," Ms. Harold said, "creates tar, which is that black sticky product when something is being burned. When a smoker inhales the smoke from a cigarette, the tar goes to their lungs, which can cause cancer from the carcinogen in the cigarette."  
 _~Flachback ends~_

 _"So, somoking is cancer?" Snake asked, who was smoking at the moment._

 _"Yeah," I said. "Unless if you , like , smoke a lot or addicted to the thing, then it's cancer.. Technically, if you smioke, you are on the road to Cancer-ville."_

 _Snake looked at the cig he is smoking. "Damn it..."_

 _~Flashback continued~_

As she said that, the healthy lung, red and pink, was already in place. Everyone seemed interested on the demostration that they stopped what they're doing. Me. Harold was holding a pumper in her hands.

"This is a healthy lung. The healthy lung has air sacs that are used to capture the oxygen that we breathe. Imagine the air sacs as balloons."

She placed the pumper on the ground and pressed it slowly. The lung began to inflate, making everyone stared in awe. As Ms. Harold lifted her foot off the pumper, it deflated, like a balloon.

"A healthy person's lungs is suppose to be like this."  
 _~Flashback ends~_

 _"So," Falco said,"It's suppose to inflate and deflate like a balloon?"_

 _"Yup. And your breathing shouldn't be fast or ragged."_

 _Everyone murmured about the sentence. A couple people left, leaving the humans, the Starfox gang, the Kirby gang, and Lucario (Dunno why he's still there)._

 _"Continue," Snake said, throwing out his finished cig and fetching a new one._

 _~Flashback resumes~_  
"Now, a smoker's lung will have popped air sacs, like bags with holes. Oxygen will get out just as soon as it goes in."

"Ms. Harold," Jane said, raising her hand. "Would that mean it won't inflate?"

The teacher nodded. "The air sacs would be useless. If all of the air sacs are popped in one lung..."

There was a black/pink thing on the desk. Everyone then realized it was a lung, damaged from smoking. There was black over the organ, assuming it's tar, and a pink thing on the outside ("That's a tumor. This one was taken out of the food chain. Do you think the food service would serve us this?"). Ms. Harold then started pumping, the lungs inflating and deflating, except the top right part of the lungs was doing nothing. It was completely useless. The bottom right and the left lungs were working. Everyone could only stare at the thing.

"Ms. Harold," I said, "why is the top right part of the right lung not..." I can't even describe it. It was that disgusting.

"The air sacs in that area is popped, which means no oxygen coming through there. That part can no longer hold oxygen. The lungs is using 75% of itself, giving only 75% of air to your body, and that would be like having asthma."

Everyone then ohhed. Chang looked at the lungs in wonder as I stare at it.  
 _~Flashback end~_

 _"And that's why I was disgusted from that stuff and why I'm not smoking."_

 _Everyone who stayed behind (Mario, Peach, Zelda, Snake, Marth, Ike, Falco, Fox, Dedede, Kirby, and Lucario (really?)) clapped their hands._

 _"That sounded like professor talk," Fox said._

 _"Yeah," Dedede chimed in. "Ya need to be a professor."_

 _I sighed, "Technically, that was disgusting as hell. Do you want me to do that,_ **again** _?"_

 _Marth sighed. "I agree with Roxas-chan. Lungs are disgusting. Honestly, I'd be puking out lunch by now."_

 _"Same," Fox, Mario, Peach, Zelda, and Ike said ._

 _I really forgot why I told the story. Maybe to spread awareness about smoking. Maybe to make everyone know that I literally sat through those disgusting 30 minutes while listening about lungs and tobacco. At least the guys are educated enough to steer away from smoking, which reminds me..._

 _"_ _ **Snake**_ _, where you smoking while I was talking?"_

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 _ **LOL! Finished. Now, the question I said earlier was the first question asked in this fanfic. As I said in the second to last paragraph, I honestly forgot why I wrote this. If you noticed, the real story isn't italized, just so you can read it like normal. Anyway, answer the question in the comments and see you on the flipside. Oh, and the people used were based on real people, their names confidential. Almost everything was close to how it happened. The lesson was on 01.13.16, I think. Hope you liked it.**_

 _ **Oh, sorry if it's hard to read. I done this and Wordpad and it didn't go so well and I'm lazy to fix it. Hope you enjoy this story with a lesson in Health.**_


End file.
